Morning Musings: “Dear Past Self…”

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“Dear Past Self,

Hi! I’ve missed you a lot. I just remembered you while scrolling through my albums and albums of pictures. I must say that I’ve really missed you for the past 2 years. You’ve always been a globe trotter! You have the world at the palm of your hands and you can go anywhere, buy anything and care less of everything! I know you’ve enjoyed this phase a LOT!

You can sleep through the day, eat any time you like and most of all, WEAR anything and KNOW that it will fit your XS-S body frame. You’ve been taken cared of ALL your life. Being a single child means that the attention of your parents are with you only. When you’ve had your first job, your co-workers turned into friends and you were the youngest…. they’ve cooked for you all the time while you are away from your parents and treated you as their youngest sister. Life’s been great! You just needed to wash the dishes afterwards like the youngest sister, always! You will realize after all of these, that it was preparing you to see how to care for others in the future!

You’ve also been through a lot of pain, losing the whole of your family and you will feel that you will have no place in this world…. BUT! Wait for it! Good things come to those who wait. Just wait.

A great thing will be coming, SOONER than you think!

After exactly half a year of being an orphan, you will learn that you will NEVER be alone: a tiny human inside you!

I know it sounded incredulous, you might not even realize it. You will still continue to be a globe trotter that you are until you cannot zip your work trousers! Only until then that you realize something is up. You’ve spotted your period and you can’t zip your trousers? Yes, I know. Something adds up–literally! You will have to buy those things that will show you those two lines for you to believe it!

You will start to experience what “having no clothes to wear” mean. Thankfully, a generous friend will give you all her maternity clothes so that you don’t need to buy. You will have to clip your wings and sit in an office until you give birth, then go to fly again afterwards, sounds easy, right?

You will find another set of family in the office, believe it or not, you will enjoy being in an office! Another set of perspective and you will learn a lot through this phase too. Enjoy it while it last, since you will not stay for long.

After a while, your XS-S body turned to a whale will experience back pain and you will feel like a turtle on its back since you won’t be able to get up from the bed without your husband to push and pull you up. Doesn’t sound nice but it will be your truth for a few months before your tiny human arrive. You will also lose your ankles, believe me. It will be all legs and feet, no ankles.

Oh, and that jaw line? It will disappear too.

Did I mention that your pits will darken like your worst nightmare too, but do not fret! It will go back to its color, trust me.

Prepare also for the worst pain in your life! You will be torn and ripped apart. That nice little va-jay-jay? After a while, you won’t recognize it too. BUUUUUUUT, know this: Good things come to those who wait aaand the pain will be worth it, as I said!

Now look at those tiny fingers, didn’t I tell you it will be worth it? I know, thank me later since this will be the start of something bigger!

Say goodbye to your precious “ME” time and to your precious sleep. It will take a while before you can say hello to those again, even after 10 months, I assure you…. those things will take their own sweet time to come back.

Remember how everybody took care of you? Yes? THAT is how you will take care of this tiny human too. You will name him Lowe and your world will change as you know it. Say goodbye to your globe trotting career! You wanted to go back, you said before? One look at that baby, you will even forget what you’ve said and you will never want to part from him even for one second! He will be the clingiest person you will ever know, sometimes you might not like it but then, when you look at him, you change your mind and LOVE it.

Say goodbye to your old body that you still wish you had since you have tons of clothes of that size, but somewhere along the way, you will have to accept that you’ve transitioned to a few 5 kgs from your original weight pre-pregnancy. You will throw away your old clothes, old practice and even your old, selfish self.

You will learn to be selfless. You will learn how great this love is.

You will have a new meaning.

You will have a family, again.

… and suddenly, you will not miss your old self because the you in the present is much better.

Have a great weekend!

Sincerely,

Present Me”

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